Making a shitty pun:

Hearing a shitty pun:

deadass
Honestly
everyone there is good news

papaw is ok!!
This seriously has been troubling me all day, and it just gave me the best relief to come upon this.

about a week ago i found this in a goodwill, one of those “grow in water” toys but
there’s no pictures of what might be inside besides the awful baby clipart, and i am insanely curious about whats actually in the egg
15 hour adventure starting now

9 hours in and there is a crack on the egg, i repeat, crack on the egg
what if it’s really not a baby and it’s a turd
WELL WE GON FIND OUT

hour 23 WHAT THE FUFCK IS THAT
THE EGG CONTAINED SOME KIND OF ELDRITCH MONSTROSITY THAT IS NOT A BABY ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT
I JUST WENT AHEAD AND TOOK IT APART

OH

HOLY PISSING HELL

MY CHILD
IGUANA WHY